Friday, April 17, 2009

Let me school you...

...you stupid piece of crap scale in my bathroom. I eat LESS and exercise MORE, and the number YOU show me in the morning goes DOWN. DOWN, DO YOU UNDERSTAND!?!? NOT UP ALMOST ONE POUND IN 24 FREAKING HOURS! That goes against the laws of PHYSICS! And if I don't get that bridesmaids dress to zip up by May 16th, if I have to duct tape it shut or punch holes in it and thread a shoelace through it, I will go Michael Bolton from Office Space on you. I will beat you like Samir and Michael beat the fax machine in the field. Because it will be YOUR fault, bathroom scale, if I don't lose enough weight in the next month. It will also be that online dress company's fault for not making the dress the right size. I measured right. I know I did.
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5 comments:

  1. Double DApril 17, 2009 at 8:45 AM

    Holy crow, what's going on hon? Trust me, you'll be a hottie pa-tattie...you know it! And I'm there with you on the evil scale...how did I apparently gain 3 pounds this past week when I haven't done anything different from last week? DAMN the scale!!! I've got the bat, lets beat these mothers....

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  2. StephApril 17, 2009 at 10:59 AM

    Dude, how are your clothes fitting, though? All I'm saying is that according to my scale, I've gained ten pounds. According to my closet, I'm two sizes smaller. I'm going to trust my clothes. Eff that stupid scale.

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  3. Matter Of Fact MommyApril 17, 2009 at 6:26 PM

    fuck the scale. seriously. have you ever gotten on the scale, seen the weight. and then 4 minutes later gotten back on THAT SAME SCALE and seen a different reading? if not, try it. happens to me! (and no, i'm not purging or taking a huge shit during that 4 minutes.) it just happens sometimes!

    just continue to do the right thing and you will be cool. :)

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  4. LindseyApril 17, 2009 at 8:31 PM

    The problem is, I count on the scale to tell me how things I ate are doing for me. If I eat something and put on three pounds in a day, I know not to eat that shit again. If I eat something else and I drop 1/2 pound, I know that's a good choice. But I guess I haven't factored in my body's weirdness and its penchant for driving me crazy.
    Dawn - I will MAKE that damn dress fit.
    Steph - I agree, though, fuck it.
    MOFM - I KNOW. I don't even know why I bother weighing myself over and over in one day, it just drives me nuts.

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  5. Cary McNealApril 22, 2009 at 7:18 PM

    At least it doesn't say "one at a time, please" like mine

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Go ahead, hit me with your best shot.

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