Monday, May 11, 2009

A Life Lesson

OK, so I'm leaving in less than 48 hours, but I just had to squeeze in one more post, just to pass on the lesson I learned today, in hopes I can spare just one of you from my pain.

NEVER EVER EVER EVER GET YOUR ARMPITS WAXED. I'm not even close to kidding. I thought, "Well, I get waxing done for free at the spa, and I would like pearly, stubble-free, razor-burn-free armpits so that I may do the YMCA dance at the wedding without fear."

First of all, waxing your pits hurts like hellfire. I had to do lamaze breathing, and I am no pansy. I'd rather have my bait shop waxed than my pits.

Second, YOU BLEED. Accprding to the esthetician, everyone bleeds, but I bled more than most. Terrific.

Third, waxing doesn't get all of the hair out. After they've waxed all they can, and you're whimpering in the fetal position for Calgon to take you away, they PLUCK the rest out with tweezers.

I stupidly had this done at the beginning of my shift today, and then I had to do THREE deep tissue massages with armpits that felt like buzzards were ripping strips of flesh off of me.

Learn from my mistake, young ones. A little pit stubble or razor burn ain't gonna kill ya, but waxing those pits just might.


  1. Thanks! I'll try to remember that.

  2. I've had my armpits waxed and the worst part of it (for me) was not being able to put on deodorant for a couple of hours...I felt like I had chapped pits..what the shit?

  3. WTF? I never even thought to wax them, since it takes, like, 4 seconds to shave them. Your "bait shop". Too funny.

    Frank is such an ass...

  4. Frank - considering my gay friend Eric told me I'm a wuss and it really doesn't hurt THAT bad, maybe it's different for guys. You should try it.

    Harmony - I have SCABS. Won't that look pretty in my bridesmaid dress?

    Samsmama - I thought perhaps waxing would make them look prettier, as opposed to shaving. I was dead. wrong.

  5. LMAO at bait shop. I will adopt this term.

    Also? You're a pansy. What's a little blood when glamor is on the line?! As my grandmother once said, "Dahling, one must suffer to be beautiful."

    Having said that, still I shave. :)

  6. Since y'all asked, I do get knots in my armpit hair (only the right one, for some reason), and I yank those suckers out.

    I use an epilator on my legs, though, is that close enough?

  7. Haha...why didn't you tell me this story when you were in town? Stupid me took about a month to even get back onto the blogging circuit...I just caught up with Sah-wah, now I'm onto yours!!! Wow, I think I'll stick to shaving!


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