Monday, May 4, 2009

What was I thinking? The day I ran a race.

I ran a race yesterday in Spokane called "Bloomsday". It is seven-point-something miles of torture, because it's not flat ground the whole way (oh, wait, I live in the MOUNTAINS now?) and there are lots of people who do not obey the walk-right-run-left rule. This not only added AT LEAST another half-mile onto my run by having to zig-zag amongst the hand-holding schmoopies dressed in spiderman costumes and some old man carrying an folded-up umbrella that he was swinging so hard I thought he was going to impale someone, but tested my patience. Had I not been gasping for air like Princess Buttercup after emerging from the sand pits in the Fire Swamp, I'd have yelled "RUN LEFT! WALK RIGHT! SO WE ARE NOT HERE ALL NIGHT!!" to everyone breaking the rule. I confess to not running the entire thing due to a ridiculous half-mile-long hill they call Doomsday, and I think I may have permanently damaged vital organs, but I finished and got my t-shirt, which my daughter promptly ran off with when I got home. Now I hurt all over. I tried to get out of bed this morning and my feet snorted derisively and said, "Nice try, moron. You make us run twice the longest distance you've ever run in your life and then expect to put any weight on us the next day? Grab a wheelchair, pal."

I was wearing my shirt, though, Steph, so everyone that looked to see who was sucking wind so loudly saw your blog site. I'd post the picture of me, but I'm too computer-stoopid to get it off my camera and the spouse is in Seattle.

Next year I'm walking that mother.


  1. CONGRATULATIONS!!!! You kicked some ass, good for you. And? That you wore Steph's shirt is freaking thoughtful of you.

  2. Seriously, I think that's freaking awesome. Even thinking about running anywhere, at all, ever makes my feet rebel, so you are my new heroine.

  3. Amazing, I hope to get in shape enough just to walk my kid the 1/2 mile to school without dying lol.

  4. Congrats on being a Crazy Runner Person, Lindsey. Three miles is the farthest I've ever run on purpose, and that's because I was chasing a woman. has t-shirts!!?!??!?!?

  5. Haha...that's awesome hon, you are so much braver than I! However, I think I'd have pulled a Red Rover and gone throught the hands of the infamous "schmoopies" just to piss em off...well, maybe not, but I'd have given them a stern "Move to the right morons" as I ran around them...yeah, I wouldn't have been a pleasant runner myself.

  6. 7 miles?! ugh. congrats on the accomplishment. i only run when chased.

    seriously, GOOD FOR YOU! :)

    @ double d's comment re Red Rover, HA!

  7. Harmony - I figured Steph wouldn't mind that I sweated all over it and got it dirty when I collasped under a tree after I was done running.
    Steph - That's like Oprah telling Tonya Harding, "You are my new heroine."
    Audra - You're excused from doing anything because you just popped out a kid. If I were you, I'd be sitting back on the couch demanding that people bring me Big Montanas from Arby's.
    Frank - Yes, there are quirkyblogger t-shirts and I tie-dyed mine. Don't judge me. It washed off, anyways.
    Dawn - I could see you doing that, but only if you were mean Dawn that day. Most of the time you're nice Dawn, though.
    MOFM - Bullshit, Miss treadmill in the corner of the basement. You could probably outrun me with your eyes closed except for if I was chasing a donut.

  8. wow! Congrats! And let me say that we are truly bff's b/c
    a) you;'re irritated that people ignore the rules of the road
    b) you managed to get in a nod to the Princess Bride- an all-time favorite of mine
    c) you call 'those' people schmoopies

  9. I measure kindred spirits by the same set of standards, Mary.


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